Finding The Courage To Start Again: The Queen of Reinvention Ft. Tracy Matthews

Jul 7

Finding The Courage To Start Again: The Queen of Reinvention Ft. Tracy Matthews
Tracey Matthews: Act as if you're the person who already has achieved it. Because if you do, you're operating from a place of your future self from where you're going, as opposed to your experiences in the past.
Voiceover: Welcome to From Trauma to CEO: The Psychology of Transformational Success with Fariya Barlas. This is a space for cycle breakers, leaders, and visionaries who are ready to rewrite old patterns and rise into their fullest potential. Each episode explores the emotional, psychological, and identity-level shifts that turned lived experience into lasting, meaningful success. And now, here's your host, Fariya Barlas.
Fariya Barlas: Hello, and welcome back to From Trauma to CEO. This is a podcast where we explore the inner architecture behind success. Not just the strategy, not just the milestones, but the adaptation, the identity shifts, and the psychological evolution that shape powerful leaderships. On this show, we talk about trauma not as damage or not necessarily as something really negative, but rather as adaptation. The strategies we build to survive that later become the strategies we build our success and our businesses with. Because high performers don't rise in spite of their histories. They rise because of that, and they rise through the strategies it taught them. And at some point, those strategies either evolve or they cap you. Today, I'm joined by Tracey Matthews. Tracey is a creative, branding, and storytelling expert, a bestselling author, keynote speaker, and the host of the top-rated Creative Juice podcast. As a serial entrepreneur, she built multiple seven-figure businesses in the creative industries. She works with founders and teams to tap into their unique creative genius to navigate challenges, increase income, and live more fulfilled lives. Notable media placements include The Today Show, Entrepreneur, InStyle magazine, and through her podcast, blog, social media platforms, coaching, and her programs, she inspires over 200,000 people weekly to launch, grow, and scale successful creative brands. You can find more information at traceymatthews.com. But most importantly, she is a very, very dear friend of mine. So, I am so happy and excited to have you with us today, Tracey. How are you doing?
Tracey Matthews: That was a good intro. That's a mouthful. I'm like, wait, wait, wait a little bit.
Fariya Barlas: Well, you are very impressive and I have a lot of respect for your journey, all the things that you've done, you've achieved. And you are the perfect example of why I do this work. So, well...
Tracey Matthews: Exactly. I'm just saying it was impressive from the standpoint of you being able to get all of that out. That was so good.
Fariya Barlas: I know. Thanks for having me. I'm excited to be here. My pleasure. So, I know you, we are friends, and I know you in a different kind of setting, and I find you very inspiring. And I know that everything you do, it's amazing. I know that you are a success story, of course, and you've done very impressive things. I love to hear a little bit about your life before the seven-figure, before the CEO era. And what was the drive for you at that time? Or was it an intentional decision or that you thought, "Okay, I want to create this life for myself. I want to create this level of success for myself."
Tracey Matthews: Oh gosh, I don't even know where to start because there are so many places I could start. You know, as a kid, I had undiagnosed dyslexia. And which should have been diagnosed because my entire family has it. But I did a good job covering it up because I didn't want to be stupid. That was like the connection that people had with dyslexia at that time. And I'm 54 years old, so this was like way back in the day. Now we know that dyslexic people are like some of the most creative, entrepreneurial people in the world. Yes. Like Richard Branson and all these people, so now I find it a gift. But when I was younger, I grew up in this very big family and it was very chaotic. And I know we're talking about trauma to CEO. Part of my coping mechanism was to be the responsible kid, and to be the one who was the leader and trying hard and doing well in school and all the things. And I knew from a very young age that I wasn't going to take a traditional path. I think for a while, I went through seasons, right? When I was 6 years old, I wanted to be a wedding dress designer. I used to design wedding dresses for my Barbies. When I was in college, I wanted to be a newscaster, at least the first couple of years, or someone doing reporting. My dad always told me that I should be an attorney because I'm very argumentative, which is kind of funny.
Fariya Barlas: I can actually testify to that. You are, but in the best possible way.
Tracey Matthews: Yes, I know. I'm very stubborn. But then, when I took a break from school and I was partying with my friends one weekend, we were heading down to a fraternity formal, and we were at my grandparents' house where my mom was living at the time, and the phone rang. And my friend Rich picked up the phone, and he's Colombian so he has dark skin. All of a sudden he turned gray. And I was looking at him, I was like, "What?" And he's like, "Maybe you should talk to her daughter." And on the other line, it was the hospital, and they had said, "We don't think she's going to make it." 30 minutes before, I had seen my mom. She was in the hospital for what most people do as outpatient surgery. She was supposed to be leaving the next day, and suddenly, traumatically died of a blood clot that was very unexpected. And that moment changed the trajectory of my life because when you're 21 years old and still trying to figure out who you are and what you want to do, and you're taking a break from school and just like working and trying to figure this all out, you come to this moment of wait, life is very short, and I got to figure this out now. So, I mean, obviously, this was such a devastating time. I still get so emotional about it. And it happened 35 years ago, which is crazy. And when I think about that time, I remember that that motivation under me like, I got to figure my life out and I got to be successful and I got to live my life because I don't know if I'm even going to live after the age of 45, because my mom was 45 when she passed away. Wow. I did. I'm 54 now. So, I made it. I won the race. No, just kidding. So, my main mission at that time was to get back to school to graduate, because that seemed very important. And I thought I wanted to be an artist because I was trying to figure this thing out, but I had to work full-time. So, I was kind of split. So, I decided to request a special major. They made up a major for me where I could study art and history and language, but also have fine arts as an elective. And the first class that I took was a jewelry making class, and I was hooked. And I was good at it, and it really aligned with everything that I loved: fashion, because I was working in boutiques, like sales, like talking to people, putting myself out there, and really expressing myself and personal style. So, it was literally a perfect fit. And my teacher at the time really mentored me. And over the course of a couple of years, I started selling jewelry as a side hustle. Eventually, I turned it into a full-time business after I got married and moved to San Francisco. Then I got divorced, moved to New York, built a brand where it was sold in over 350 stores. I had celebrity clients, and at the time in the '90s and early 2000s, that was like a really important driving factor. And just like so many wins. And then the market crashed in 2008 and wiped out my business. And like overnight, like this multiple seven-figures successful brand that I had built, where I was, in essence, in some eyes, like a household name, independent designers were reaching out to me all the time asking me how I did it. All of a sudden, my business was gone. And I'm like, "Who am I now?" So, I went through another dark night of the soul, tried to figure it out, realized I wanted to continue doing jewelry. And this is the entrepreneur's way. And when I look back in those moments, I realized I come from this resilient, entrepreneurial family. My grandfather, he never graduated from eighth grade, he started a restaurant empire in the '50s. And it's incredible to see like what he was able to achieve. So, it does run in my veins. And I had also seen him, the same year that my mother passed away—my mother was his daughter—lose his seat as the chairman emeritus of his company and basically lost $100 million in a year and my mom. So, to see him like overcome that, like anyone could do anything.
Fariya Barlas: So, that gave you permission also to see that you can crash and then pick it up and then crash. So, in a way, we were just talking about it earlier that we're not unfamiliar with losses, right? You know, understanding the loss and how you reinvent yourself. Actually, you are the queen of reinvention, so I'll let you continue. Yes. I know.
Tracey Matthews: Tracey Reinvention Matthews is my name. Yes. My middle name. But also, my human design is a 6/3, and 3 is that trial and error line. And the sixth line, you have three distinct phases. So, I think I'm about to hit my stride. We'll see, after 50. So, I launched a new jewelry company, and did a bunch of side hustles at the same time. And right around that same time, people were asking like how I did it. I would get a lot of people asking me to pick my brain, like go to coffee, want free advice for my business. So, I started charging for consulting. And independent designers, you know how they are, they can't afford the fee. So, I'm like, maybe I'll make a one-to-many program. It was like the very early days of the internet and this online course thing back in 2014 or 2012. When, when was it? 2000... 2012 is when I started. So, I launched a company called Flourish & Thrive Academy, and that was the beginning of me coaching and speaking and launching a podcast. And now, evolving that into helping multiple types of brands and creatives. And, and now being, I should also say now being an AI innovator, because we just launched a, a platform called Desire AI, which is changing the game, not only for the jewelry industry, but also the coaching industry. Maybe we'll talk about that later. This process of always reinventing yourself and having that resilience is part of my DNA. And I think it comes from my early childhood, just feeling very much like you got to stay on your toes. Like we talked about this on my podcast recently, but you got to stay on your toes because you never know what's going to happen and you got to be like a couple steps ahead of everyone, right?
Fariya Barlas: I really like your story because you're the example of how all the things, I mean, you started with jewelry, but now I know that you work a lot with people's mindsets and how the internal process and programming... And I'll get to your clients, but I want to know like when did you realize that for things to really take place and for you to really expand, things needed to shift internally for you as well? Because, of course, you've been through so much, and I know that with each stage, you probably gone through a whole new identity with that. It never stops, for all. It never stops, yes. I know. It never stops, but when did you realize that it is not just the strategy? That something inside of you has to really be restructured in order for you to really go for it?
Tracey Matthews: So, I became obsessed with personal development after my mom died. And because I was really searching for the meaning of life, I'm like, "We are not that family that the mom dies young." And the mom did die young, and all these things, like it really made me question everything. And I've always been a spiritual person. I didn't find structured religion, even though I was raised Catholic, to be the form of spirituality that I wanted to practice like intently for the rest of my life, even though I love the tradition. I found this passion for being connected to source. So, I started practicing yoga, then teaching yoga, and that was the foray, like meditation and mind-body-spirit stuff. I think the real foray though, came through like after I got divorced and learning a little bit more about the law of attraction, which only works if you change what's happening on the inside, right? The law of attraction. And then, going through that first dark night of the soul when my business was wiped out overnight in 2008. But then, also having a very similar experience in 2020 when the world shut down. And my body just going into this trauma response where I could not control... Yeah. How I felt, it just came back so strong, like the feelings that I had, the same feelings. Like it was weird. The exact same feelings that I had in 2008. And I was so worried about losing the business again. And even though the proof was not that that wasn't going to happen, but it just felt like it because of the circumstances and the world shutting down, and I was worried about people stopping buying and all the things, which would affect my business, which it did affect my business, probably more because of my reaction, not because of their reaction. And it took me a couple years to actually figure out, like admit to myself what was really going on.
Fariya Barlas: Well, thank you for sharing that with us. It's very, very refreshing to see and to be able to be witnessing you honoring your vulnerability as well as your creativity and everything else that I know you of. So, I really appreciate that. And and here you are. So, something must have shifted from you being in that place and you being here.
Tracey Matthews: Girl, I almost burned the whole thing down. I can imagine. Well, yeah, a lot of shifted. If it's not okay to say this, you can edit it out. But I started on a journey right around that time in 2019, right before the pandemic. Yep. Around 2019, I got invited to my first plant medicine journey. I wasn't sure what it was all about, I was curious. And that completely blew my life wide open. I manifested my partner within like 3 months, and the rapid amount of result from being able to be open like that in a setting where people are supporting each other in unraveling like the core issues of what is going on internally with people, completely changed my life. I don't even know how many I've done at this point, but so many journeys and healing retreats and things to really uncover and dig up like, why am I here? Like, what is motivating me, or why do I keep having these same problems over and over again? And it did get a little bit worse before it got better, so buyer beware. But it always does. It completely changed my life because I saw things in a different way. And I also started to understand how trauma really plays a role in sneaking up on you, and you talked about safety on my podcast, but how it's trying to keep you safe but it's actually keeping you small. And it's so hard to break free from that, and I still feel that, like I'm always doing work, right? It's so hard to break free from that, especially when you've had a lot of traumatic things happen in your life and you're a high achiever trying to reach goals and you're hitting a ceiling and you're not happy with the direction of what you're doing, and your people-pleasing and you're doing all these things that you know you shouldn't be doing. I think for me, the first place I go is judging myself for whatever it is, instead of being like, "Okay, where is this coming from?" And I think the awareness in that, and the awareness in, you know, we hear a lot about comparisonitis or whatever, but the awareness in like, you know what, this is a normal human condition. But just being aware that that's what you're doing can dissolve so much of the stigma around that, or the feelings around it. So, yeah, I don't totally know where I'm going with this, but I mean, that period, 2019, 2020, which I know was very traumatic for a lot of people, really started this process. And I will tell you, it has been a little bit of a roller coaster for the past couple of years. And in fact, last year, I intentionally de-scaled my company—this is when we met—to be like a fraction of what we had done in previous years, like more than half of the revenue. And I, mind you, I'm doing like seven-plus multiple seven a year. So, it was a huge, significant dip. Intentionally, so I could stop the machine for a minute, so I could actually think about what I really wanted. And it was the hardest thing I have ever done for someone like me because it's humbling. And I feel like I am this person who's 54 years old and people look up to me for experience and expertise. And I feel like I don't even have my shit together, like I don't know what I'm doing. And I think just being okay being in the process of unraveling a little bit and knowing that it's just part of the process. I mean, I've been through enough reinventions to know that being an entrepreneur, there are seasons, and it's not straight up. And anyone who tells you that it's only straight up is lying to you. Like, there's always something. And sure, certain people can keep building and keep building and never have a dip, but something else suffers in their life. And I think this is part of the work that you do. It's like, maybe it's their relationships, or maybe it's Their health. relationship with themselves, their health, like something. So, maybe the business continues to go up, but other things suffer. So, for me, I like to be very dramatic, so it was like a big dramatic thing for me to de-scale this thing. But also, it was such a gift. And I can see that now, because had I not done that, I probably would have gone bankrupt again. Had I not done that, I probably would have never had the idea for my AI tool that is crushing it and will be crushing it for so many people. And also, would not have the freedom to play and experiment with some other things that I really wanted to do, because if I kept kept a machine going that wasn't aligned with me, it's like the wheels and the cogs and all the systems were just going to fall off the rails. And I don't think it's a regret, but my biggest learning, I guess, from that time is because I wasn't honoring myself and what I truly wanted and maybe being in this people-pleasing position for one or too many years, I actually hurt a lot of people in the process. In when I was thinking I was doing something for them. Does that make sense? It does. I thought I was like, "Okay, well I'm just going to keep this going for them." But actually, it hurt them more than it helped them.
Fariya Barlas: No, I always say that your biggest gift and your magic lives where your trauma lives. So, if you tap into that part of your trauma, that's where you release your magic, and that's how it comes out. And it's fascinating because we were speaking earlier, and what's actually coming up is everything or a lot of the things that you're talking about, and the processes that you went through, whether it was conscious or whether, you went through them due to survival, because you wanted to go through stuff make and you didn't give up. But actually, that really is the process of moving from the trauma-led success to a reparative success. And as I was saying earlier, it just does not have to be that hard. We had to go through the whole process, experience it, but I know that that's a big part of how you help a lot of people that you work with. It's not just about strategy or storytelling, it's also about getting their internal processes right because you also went through it and because you have all these experiences. Can you tell me a little bit about how you help people? And I know now that you're, I think you kind of underplayed your work a little bit. Because I know that you don't just work with jewelry makers and creatives, although majority of them maybe creatives, but you actually coach anybody that want that is a business owner or wants to scale. And I know a big part of that is coming from your your inner work and also your own experiences and the struggles that you went through. So, can you tell me a little bit about what it is that you do with your clients? How do you unleash your magic?
Tracey Matthews: How do I unleash my magic? Well, I'm a branding expert, too. I mean, I wrote a book called The Desire Brand Effect, which you can see right behind me. It's for jewelry business owners, but it's a great business book for a lot of people.
Fariya Barlas: I really need to get that because I saw it last time. I made a mental note. I mean, this is not good, is it? I haven't got your book yet, but I really, really do want to. And I really suggest for everybody to do the same because I know that things that you say and your just wisdom is very priceless. So, I' love to get my hands on that book.
Tracey Matthews: Thank you. Thank you. So, I teach people how to build founder-led brands. Like, that's the essence of what I do. I love teaching people how to connect with people through storytelling. But for my entire career, I've been talking about what's happening in your business is actually a reflection of what's happening on inside of you. Yes. And so, I will be launching a program later in the season, later in the season, later in the season. It's like Bridgerton. What's that? Bridgerton. In the season. Later in the year, called The Iconic Brand. It's going to be a mastermind for founder-led brands who are scaling to seven figures. And I'm excited about it. It goes through my process of founder-led frequency, which is vision, voice, visibility, and vibration. So, the vibration part is the energy that you're bringing to the table. And I don't claim to be anywhere near as skilled as someone like you, Fariya, and helping people unwind their, you know, trauma responses. But one of the things that I do is we focus probably more like almost 30% of the work I do is on the inner work. Um, so it might be somatic work or breath work or meditation or exercise where we're really uncovering the root cause of where something's coming from, to understand it so that we can heal it, right?
Fariya Barlas: Full transparency, I took on your, you remember when I did the 21-day challenge? I was like listening to your audios and it was so soothing and I was like, it was amazing. I loved it. And I still have that recorded. Yes.
Tracey Matthews: Listen away.
Fariya Barlas: Yeah, and I was like, this is my friend and she's just giving me so much inspiration. But yeah, that was really the most important part of that work for me, to integrate that internally with what you want to achieve and having that vision and then integrate it and embody it. I think that was really cool.
Tracey Matthews: And act as if you're the person who already has achieved it. Because if you do, you're operating from a place of your future self from where you're going, as opposed to your experiences in the past. That was a huge shift for me, going through this whole thing. I'm like, oh, the reason why I'm struggling so much is because I keep thinking about the past, right? And not because I will never recreate what happened in 2008. I'm never going to recreate what happened to my mom. Like, those are one-off experiences. They're never going to happen like that again. Something different will happen. It'll be a different experience. And I can't create from a place of something that will never happen again. Instead, create from the place of your desires and like what you want to create. So, that's really the core of my beliefs. I have a program that is an audio coaching program right now for all types of business owners called The Launchpad, and it's a new offer. It's something I've wanted to bring to the table for so long, because I feel like everyone is very busy, and most people don't have time to show up for weekly calls. And I wanted to create something that was really easy to consume. And I was playing around with this audio coaching model for a while. So, this is basically like my entry-level offer, which is exciting. And in The Launchpad, we focus on that 4V frequency, and we tap into the beginning of like the iconic founder-led brand. So, I'm supporting people in their sales, in their marketing, in their, internal, you know, state to help them elevate their experience to actually get what they want, by understanding and clearly focusing on the 20% of the work that's going to get them to their goals, instead of the other 80% that we keep ourselves busy with.
Fariya Barlas: Oh, that sounds amazing. And how can people find you, come and say hello to you, and just know more about your work and your amazing offers?
Tracey Matthews: Amazing. So, first listen to my podcast, because Fariya is going to be on it. It's called Creative Juice. I love it. And the best place to reach out to me and learn about my offers is on Instagram, because I'm in the process—I don't know when this is going live—and I'm in the process of redoing all of my websites. Unless you're a jewelry designer, you can head on over to flourishandthriveacademy.com. I'm @iamtraceymatthews on Instagram, and we can connect there.
Fariya Barlas: Absolutely. And just promise to actually reply, because sometimes, like today, we were messaging on Instagram, and then a second later, you messaged me, literally 2 seconds it took me to reply, and you were already messaging me on email. So, I'm like, "Woman, just stay in one place. How can I find you when you're moving around so much?"
Tracey Matthews: Oh well, I was doing a training this morning. I think that's why. Yes. I'm like, I got to I'm excited to see you today. I'm going to go jumping into a training and then I'll connect with you later. I do, I'll be honest, I do answer my DMs in waves. I don't like having notifications on, because I feel like it's very distracting, and you can't get a lot done. And one of the things that I teach people to do is to schedule out their time and remove distractions from things like we're already so connected to our phones and looking at it all the time. Like, I find myself, I'm like, "Why am I picking up my phone right now?" Sometimes I want to throw it in the wall or lock it in a drawer.
Fariya Barlas: It really does interfere with your creativity, doesn't it? I find that I have to actively put time aside to just sit down and be, and let things just come up. And exactly like you, I make a deliberate intention to put my phone aside so I'm just sitting down with my thoughts and with my processes, and that's when all the amazing things come out, you know? I love it. So, yeah.
Tracey Matthews: You need space for creativity. It's the most important. You definitely do. You definitely do.
Fariya Barlas: Well, I'm really happy that we got to speaking today, and thank you so much for being here and for sharing your wisdom with us. And it's always a pleasure speaking with you, and you know that anyway. So, thank you again.
Tracey Matthews: Thank you for having me.
Voiceover: Thank you for listening to From Trauma to CEO: The Psychology of Transformational Success with Fariya Barlas. Check out the show notes for more information on how to continue this work or explore more of Fariya's teachings. If this episode resonated, please follow, review, and share it with someone who needs this message. And we'll see you in the next episode.

Episode Summary

In this episode of From Trauma to CEO, Farya Barlas sits down with entrepreneur, branding expert, and bestselling author Tracey Matthews to explore how resilience, reinvention, and inner healing shape lasting success. Tracey shares the defining moments that transformed her life, from the unexpected loss of her mother to rebuilding after losing a multi seven-figure business, revealing why true growth comes from evolving your identity, not just your business strategy.

What You'll Learn

How childhood experiences and trauma can influence the way you build success, lead others, and respond to challenges.
Why reinvention is a necessary part of entrepreneurship and how setbacks can become opportunities for growth.
How inner work, including mindset, self-awareness, and emotional healing, creates a stronger foundation for sustainable success.
Why operating from your future identity instead of your past experiences can help you make better decisions and expand your potential.
How creativity, storytelling, and personal branding become more powerful when they are aligned with who you truly are.